It was from a friend who's five-year-old son had recently taken a Sharpie to her $300 leather handbag and, well, wrote "FART." She posted it on her Facebook page because she was legitimately asking for advice on how to get rid of the gassy graffiti.
I'll admit, I laughed my ass off when I saw this picture. As more and more people chimed in with a joke or with a genuine cleaning tip, it eventually got dubbed the "FART bag."
While this nickname made me laugh even more, it also created a sense of dread and fear. I have a 20-month-old son who's beginning to show signs of being a daredevil and getting into things he shouldn't.
With my daughter (who's now 7), the worst she ever did was cut a few pieces from her hair using fingernail scissors. She got into some lotion or diaper cream one time too and it ended up on her face. Overall, my daughter's shenanigans were pretty tame.
Having a boy, though, is a whole new ballgame for my family. We're having to deal with couch-diving, furniture-climbing, playing in the catfood, page removal from books, getting water from the refrigerator dispenser (and getting it EVERYWHERE), etc. While his mischief is still pretty harmless, I fear that it's just a matter of time before my little angel creates a FART bag - or something similar - all by himself.
The differences between boys and girls are really amazing. I mean, sure, there are exceptions to the rule, but for the most part, boys are so much rougher and daring than the girls. It's like they're made of rubber and their slower-to-develop (than girls) brains are simply wired to get into trouble - a lot. Boys' naughtiness factor is instinctual. Even the potty humor starts early - again, instinctive, it seems. (Although my son's appreciation for fart jokes may have also come from me.)
On the flipside, it's also true that boys really are much more loving to their mamas than their girl counterparts. That part, I live for. The random hugs, calling my name and running to me when he's scared or sad ... you can't beat that. But, his inner-ornery is rearing it's tiny little head and I fear that a FART bag may one day be in my future.
***Footnote: my friend was able to return her FART bag to just a bag, thanks to Magic Eraser.***
True story. My older bro had all girls. At the time, I had 3 boys, roughly the same ages as his girls. We'd get together and my boys would literally be climbing the walls, using the coffee table for a stage and diving off furniture. His precious little girls would sit quietly not he floor, playing with their dolls and even sharing with their siblings/cousins. He turned to me one day and said, "David, can't you control your kids?" And I replied, in desperation, "No! I can't, Rodger! And if you have any tips I'd be happy to hear them!" Fast forward a few years to when the girls hit about 10 years old and the Drama Demon overtook their sweet little brains and my boys (if angry or frustrated) would just got to their room and not come out for days. I've successfully raised 3 sons and my younger 3 have all reached their teens without me killing even one of them. It was close a few times, but hang on! It's a wild and crazy ride with boys. But it's never dull.
ReplyDeleteOh, this is great, David!! I love wild and crazy!!
DeleteOh, and I have a fear of the Drama Demon rearing its ugly head in my daughter big time!!